In this powerful and engaging book, H.J. Cummins begins with intensely personal storytelling and then weaves in a thread of attachment research to tie the human drama together. By telling her mother's harsh story with a spirit of love and forgiveness - and her own poignant story with candor and humility - Cummins offers a gift to all who strive to understand how families can rise above a history of pain and loss. Inspiringly, she comes down firmly on the side of hope!
Martha Farrell Erickson, Ph.D., Senior Fellow & Co-Chair
President's Initiative on Children, Youth & Families
Children, Youth & Family Consortium
University of Minnesota

In this lovely book, H. J. Cummins weaves historical reporting on the Second World War with family memoir and personal anecdote. Connecting the history of the Holocaust with the complicated reality of her own experience as a daughter and as a mother, Cummins has written a book which is a laser sharp study in psychology and a lyrical contribution to literature.
Susan Cheever, author of My Name is Bill: Bill Wilson – His Life and the Creation of Alcoholics Anonymous

American journalist H.J. Cummins writes about her mother, who came of age in Germany under Hitler, under the kind of economic and personal hardship where survival comes at the expense of joy and security, as we so often witnessed in our German attachment research. After her mother's death, the author tries to understand why her mother shied away from feelings. The book relates with great sympathy the many stings of hidden as well as open rejections caused by avoiding instead of enjoying the richness of human togetherness. It was a moment of laughter that became the first step toward Cummins' freedom from the burden of lingering conflicts unintentionally caused by a loved mother who paid with her feelings for mere survival. Many others in similar situations will feel they may be able to find that freedom, too.
Klaus Grossmann
Professor of Psychology, Emeritus
University of Regensburg, Germany